Good morning Reader,
Something happened to me yesterday. Something that had not happened to me in a while. I fell of my bicycle and bruised my elbows and got “road rashes.” It was uncomfortable, yes but I think that it sparked a feeling within that I had not experienced in a while. Feeling that I experienced a lot in my youth, a mixture of embarrassment and failure. This got me thinking.
In our youth, we lived every minute to explore. One of my examples include finding a bee nest, aggravate them and fight them off with a tennis racket. I got stung once. Another example included rushing down the meanest hill of them all, on my BMX. Now, I would not even consider that hill a slope but we all had hills or dangerous acts that we did not even think twice about performing when we were younger.
Did we lose this ability when we got older?
I tend to be an over thinker. It might be a relaxing day in the office but my brain is constantly on. If I have a decision to make, I not only think it, I obsess about it. When the decision has been made, I still think about it. This was quite the opposite when I was younger. I thought, I did. I thought and I did not. End of story.
I miss that part of myself. Can it be that I got scared? Did I make the wrong decision and it got stuck in my head, making me rethink every possibility? I do not know (but I will tell you if I find out). I believe that we all need to have that childhood spirit of doing and then reacting, not thinking, doing, reacting, think some more. We all need to get rid of that fear that we seem to get when we become “grown-ups.” We need to allow the risk taker to work sometimes in our lives,
because it did not matter if that hill gave you bruises or you hit your head (no helmets in my day), it healed up.
Have a good weekend!
this one is important. Why? What am I getting from publishing random thoughts and stories about my experience? Well here are a few suggestions.
First, to improve my mental health. Making a diary has been shown to improve your mood, ease your stress and to help when making tough decisions. I need all of the above, like a night security officer needs tar-black coffee.
Second, it keeps track of my goals and the progress I am making towards those goals. I want to get into patent law and I want to share the highs and lows that I will encounter.
Third, I like to communicate with other people about science, get advice and give advice. I have always thought that I was the exception, that nobody else had ever had any problems with their Phd studies or their postdoc stints. After some research, there are actually more about postdoctoral failures than anything else. This is just my chapter of that whole story.
Fourth, writing everyday makes you a better writer. I am practicing.
The last reason that I can think of at the moment is the pure and evil disappointment and frustration that needs to be vented. Instead of coming home to my wife and being someone who is frustrated and annoyed, I want to use this as a tool to get rid of the frustration from work and enjoy our life.
If you have a reason or a blog where you are sharing your experience (Phd or Postdoc), please comment.
its a legit question, who am I? This question will become important later on when you start to think: “Who is he to tell me that X and Y happens?” or my personal fave: “Mildred, Who is this guy, we need to hire him ASAP!”
I am a postdoctoral student in one of the major US Colleges (wont say which one yet, you dont enjoying reading a scientific paper by reading the conclusion first). I love science, one of those kids that got a microscope for my 7 year old birthday, loved watching Il étaite une fois (cartoons explaining science related matters such as inflammation etc.) and in general just a curious kid. Got a degree in Biochemistry, then in Chemistry and now working as a postdoctoral student in Microbiology and Immunology. Like you, I have put in enormous amount of hours of pipetting, flow sorting, MTT assay, cloning, isolating with the hope of receiving my reward, getting a research group of my own and educating other students and graduating the future of science. This hope is now…gone.
But like Phoenix (the bird, not the state), I have risen from the ashes. Now I am set on a path to entering law, utilizing my PhD experience as…yes as an experience. This is how this story starts.